


H-E Double Hockey Sticks

by Valpoet



Series: Blindspot AU [4]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blindspot!AU, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Pre-Same As It Never Was, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 22:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valpoet/pseuds/Valpoet
Summary: Same as it Never Was divergent - in a world where by miracle alone the brothers survive and Donatello came back from "Purgatory".This is a series of various oneshots, drabbles, and snippets from an alternate ALTERNATE universe in which Leonardo is blind, Donatello is guilt stricken, Michelangelo is learning to forgive, and Raphael is learning how to cast aside his anger in favour of loving his brothers.Casey was the one who learned everything he knew about controlling his temper from Raphael. How funny it was, really, that this was the guy being a voice of reason when all Raph wanted to do was knock Shredder's block off. Casey was there for Raph when Raph wasn't even there for himself.





	H-E Double Hockey Sticks

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Nickleback "If Today was Your Last Day"

“Hey, Raph?”

Looking at Casey sometimes was like looking at a stranger, Raph thought. Especially now that the guy was missing most of his fucking teeth. But it wasn't just that. A lot of it was about the weird looks of concern sometimes that Raph fucking _hated_ , or how the guy somehow looked ten years older than he actually was.

Raphael exhaled a puff of smoke as he removed the cigarette from his lips, eye flickering over to his bud briefly before glancing upwards towards the incoming and pretty fucking angry looking storm clouds.

“Yeah, what the fuck ya want, Case?” It came out rough, hoarse, but he didn't care; he was in no mood to be dicked around cuz he had things he wanted to do.

“I've been thinkin'-” Casey started, leaning forwards against his hockey stick and looking out across the war zone that was New York.

Was being a pretty literal term by this point. Fifteen years since Don was gone and everything went to fucking hell.

Raph snorted a little bitterly, wind kicking up as the storm came in. So would rain, but whatever, he had plans today. A little storm wasn't gonna fucking stop him.

“That's yer first mistake.” Raph replied, taking another puff of his cigarette and blowing out another plume; the nicotine settling in his lungs like the cancer that'd maybe take him one day if the Shredder didn't fucking get him first.

“You know thinkin' ain't yer forte, Bonehead. Best leave that shit to me or April.”

Casey sniffed a little indignantly, looking only mildly offended, but mostly conceding that Raph was probably right. Not that it fucking stopped him. Nothing ever stopped Casey motherfucking Jones from finishing one of his thoughts.

“Yeah, well, whatever. You're gonna hear it out anyways cuz we're buds and I'm thinkin' this is kinda a thing we should talk about.”

“Just spit it out already.”

“Alright, alright, _jeez._ Maybe if you'd stop interuptin' me, I'd get to the point already.”

Withered looks were exchanged, mostly on Raph's end, but Casey shrugged and grinned a toothless and fucking weird ass grin. Them new and improved Purple Dragons/Foot whatever the fuck they were did a number on him a few years back. He was lucky all he lost was his teeth. Now he just kinda talked with a weird ass lisp and spit a lot more, but eh, he was alive so what did it matter? Live to fight another day, after all. That was all that mattered in this world.

“As I was sayin.” Casey _finally_ continued, ignoring now how the rain was starting to come and wet the city below; they, for the most part, should have been relatively safe and unnoticed in their location up in the rooftops hidden by an old water tower, but Raph was keeping vigilant anyway (since Casey sure as fuck wouldn't, even with all the shit going down now).

“If we die doin' what we're gonna do tomorrow, you got any regrets or anythin'? Like, if we die, and don't get me wrong here, I don't think we're gonna cuz we're pretty fuckin' badass and shit and we're gonna kick fuckin' butt, but like _if_ we die-”

“Alright, listen here, Knucklehead, we _ain't_ gonna fucking die, got it? The only one dyin' tomorrow is the Shredder. That's it. We go in, bap the guys fucking _dead_ , just the two of us, get out.”

Heavy silence. Raph was breathing a little heavy, a bit riled up at Casey's stupid ass fucking question to be honest. Like, he couldn't _really_ blame the guy, but like, if _they_ couldn't kill the Shredder, who could? The rebels weren't having any fucking luck. Mikey was off helping them with their bullshit, Raph figured since Mikey liked playing the fucking hero (always kinda had, but this wasn't about playing _heroes_ , this was about killing the fucker who was all over tryin' to take over the motherfucking world) and Leo? Wherever the fuck that guy was, Raph didn't give a fucking shit. He was done the minute the fucker walked away.

Raph had to light another cigarette, fingers shaking as anger and hatred and _everything_ bubbled up inside him like a disease. He tried to ignore Casey's eyes. Those fucking eyes that somehow held more knowledge than they fucking shoulda, but also held stubbornness and a zest for fucking life that no one could snatch away. Not in a million fucking years.

“Well, if I died tomorrow, I'd regret not bein' able to marry April when this is all over.” He said easily with a shrug and another toothless grin, lifting up his hockey stick to swing over his shoulder so effortlessly.

Raphael barely spared him a glance, still puffing away.

“Course you'd regret that.” Raph responded without any sense of humour whatsoever.

“I dunno how the fuck she puts up with ya, though, Case.”

Raph got a rough shove in response, only able to muster an exasperated look towards his buddy who was again looking out across the fallen city. The curfews were about to start, but neither of them were moving from their spots. Daring whatever the fuck was down there to come and make them leave if they could.

“Yeah, well.” Casey never finished that sentence; anything he was thinking in that moment lost to time.

Heavy silence filled the air, except for the sound of the rain and the wind that whipped their clothes.

“Ya know, Raph,” Casey spoke again, this time different and this time fully catching the turtle's attention.

“You know Don woulda hated to see you smokin'.”

Cold. Raph felt cold. And angry. And spiteful.

In part because maybe Casey was right, but mostly because Casey had the fucking gall to mention Don.

“Well, he ain't fucking here, so I'm gonna fucking smoke.” He bit out, harsh and hot because he didn't fucking care if Casey was coming from a good place or not, no one mentioned Don; _no one_.

Raph had once spent a good portion of his time looking for his missing brother when he wasn't out bapping fuckers. He got nothing for it ever. No body. No nothing. Don was fucking gone. All of him. Raph could barely remember what he fucking looked like or sounded like or-

He blinked back tears, taking another angry puff on his cigarette.

“No, he ain't. But I am. I kinda hate seein' it too.” Casey said and there was an honesty there and a hurt that Raph couldn't fully understand.

He said nothing, instead choosing to glower out across the smoggy hellscape.

“I know you ain't gonna believe me or nothin', but, like, I dunno-” For all of his seriousness, Casey lacked the ability to properly word his thoughts, choosing now to look frustrated and angry at himself instead.

“I'm fine, Case. Peachy.”

“Raph, I know you think I'm fuckin' dumb as shit, but we both know you ain't fine. I've been here with ya through a bunch of shit when I should be with April and you should be with Mike.”

Again with the cold feeling running down his spine. Raph nearly chewed through his cigarette, fists clenched tight in his coat pockets. Bile and bitterness rising up in him.

“When the Shredder is fucking dead, then I'll be with Mike.” Raph said finally and he meant it, he did.

Right now, though, he couldn't go back and be with Mikey. Not until his job was done. Not until he killed the only guy he could reasonably kill and not feel fucking guilty over it. Raph did a lot of stupid shit and _said_ a lot of stupid shit and he'd lost one brother to _mystery_ and another to _selfishness_ and fuck if he was gonna lose a third brother too.

No, Raph could do this. He and Casey could fucking do this and put an end to this and he didn't need Leo and he didn't need Don and he didn't need Mike to do it.

In response, he was met with a crooked pinky finger in front of his nose and a surprisingly stoic Casey who was offering it.

“Promise me, then.” He said, standing tall and proud even with the childish gesture and not quite there smile and hockey stick over his shoulder.

“Are you fucking serious?” Raph bit out, a little startled, but also not really because Casey was a walking talking man of pure impulse and little sense.

“Duh. Fuckin' pinky promise me, Reptile-breath. That when we kill the Shredder tomorrow, you go home and be with Mike. I know you got beef with Leo an' that's on you two to figure out or whatever, but Mikey ain't got no part of that. You know that.”

Raph stared at offending and stupid finger, tempted to fucking grab it and twist just out of fucking spite at this point. But he didn't. Instead, he took it and went through with what Casey apparently seemed to think was some sort of fucking contract. Either way, Raph felt a little more obligated in his quest to fucking bash the shit out of the Shredder.

“This is so fucking stupid.” The turtle said when it was over and done; Casey just grinned that toothless grin.

“Buddy, we're basically walkin' into hell tomorrow, let me just have that, alright?”

“I already fucking did and most of me regrets it.”

“You won't regret it when we kick names and take ass!”

“I regret hearing you fuck that up that badly, Toothless.”

“Eh, I only improved it.”

A few beats of silence followed. The rain still coming and thunder rolling. Once in awhile predated with flashes of lightning. Raphael really wasn't bothered, but once in awhile he could see Casey was peering at him. Some sort of thoughtful look that Raph _really_ couldn't place. It worried him and it didn't because sometimes Casey was just fucking weird. He loved the guy, but he was fucking weird on top of kinda dumb (but they were best buds, Raph would have given his life for Casey in a fucking heartbeat).

“Sometimes, I-” Raph started finally and Casey was giving him his full attention.

The lightning flashed and the thunder came again, this time even louder than before. Like hailing gunfire that drowned out Raph's thoughts and killed his words before they ever were to reach his best friend's ears.

Raph took this as a sign.

“ _What_?” Casey called out over the sounds of the storm and Raph sighed, grabbing the knuckhead's arm and tossing the butt of his third smoke to the ground in a hurry.

“Come on, Bonehead, we gotta get some rest if we plan on actually _succeeding_ tomorrow. Shredder ain't gonna kill himself.”

“Dude, no, seriously, what didja say?”

“Nothin', let's _move_.”

And tomorrow, when they were in hell and Raph was surrounded by splinters of smashed hockey sticks and broken goalie masks and broken bodies of best friends, he'd added another regret to his unspoken list.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for a lot of reasons.  
> Admittedly, as fun as this was to write, this is probably my least favourite in the series thus far as terms as the AU goes. Alas, hopefully, you enjoyed thoroughly <3 Despite, well, the feelings.  
> Raph still swears a lot.


End file.
